Marry a man who is strong but defines his strength by the grit of his soul rather than by the might of his fists. He will be physically strong from the depth of his practice, but by placing his faith in the muscles of his heart over the force of his biceps, he will understand his own true strength and so be able to honor you for yours.
Marry a man who rises in the moonlight to release the darkness within him. A man like this is brave and understands how to bow his head in respect to something greater than himself, including his love for you. Now you must be honest with yourself, my sister, and commit to your own practice too, for if you do not also release the darkness within you, his brightness will startle you and you may not be able to believe this light that he radiates also lives in you.
Marry a man who sings to the Goddess, for he will know the song of your heart and will be able to chant it for you should you forget it. You will need to learn to listen and accept the offerings he makes to you from his heart without distrust. This will get easier as his trust is earned.
Marry a man who has held his arms in the air for hours in White Tantric Yoga, for he will know how to hold you up when you fall and will not think you are helpless just because you ask for help.
Marry a man who is committed to keeping up with his own practice, for he will remember to keep up with the highest practice of all, love. A man committed to love will understand how to enter into a loving relationship, and also how to leave one lovingly if necessary.
Marry a man who knows cold showers, for he will not be afraid of life when it sometimes gets cold and painful. He will know how to warm himself up from the inside and then share his warmth with you. He will not fear the cold path, and his fearlessness will inspire yours.
Marry a man who uses meditation to challenge his ego, for then he will not run when you challenge it, too. Woman who walk this earth with strength and power can often challenge men who have forgotten what strength really is. I urge you to marry a man who understands that real power comes from mastery of the Self and not the Other. A man who does Kundalini yoga will want a strong woman as his partner, for he will see the strength of a relationship as more than the sum of its parts, and he will understand that strength comes in all forms and sometimes in the form of fragility.
Marry a man who is not afraid to leave his hair and body unaltered, whether he does so or not, for he will inspire you to fall in love with yourself too, and together you will learn to love the physical bodies your spirits have incarnated in for this life consciously, and the love you have for yourselves will spill over into the love you have for each other, and your lovemaking will become a form of worship.
You will find this man all over, although it may seem like you are looking and looking and still cannot find him. You must breathe and relax, dear one, because it is easy to look hard without seeing. You will find him hiking in the mountains or snorkeling in the sea. You will find him in a yoga studio or you will find him in an office. You will find him in parks and hospitals and banks. You will find him anywhere you might find a man, except his light will be the only thing you can see. His eyes will glow like diamonds and a hum will play in your chest like a singing bowl. Do not be distracted by his external package, for you must learn to see the man inside the body and the spirit inside the form. You must help him see it too, for your vision may be stronger and it will be your job to help him give birth to his own greatness.
And one day, as you live this life together, your hearts will ignite in flame and love will burn away anything that does not really exist. And you will know at that moment of merger, that it was very, very worth it to marry a man who does Kundalini yoga.
Find more ways to live with a whole heart in Ramdesh’s book “Yoga and Mantras for a Whole Heart”: