Prescriptive Sadhanas for the Characters on Glee

Lately I’ve been pretty mesmerized by the TV show “Glee.” As a child I watched more Judy Garland and Bing Crosby films than cartoons. Truth be told, I have a little bit of a soft spot for musical comedy.

Watching Glee I sometimes catch myself wondering what sort of personal sadhana each of the characters would do if they were yogis.

So, I’m going to make-believe that some of the characters on Glee asked me to recommend a personal sadhana for them. Here’s what I would say:

Rachel Berry:  Rachel is the perfect caricature of the overly passionate artist. While she wants to be noticed for her talent, she confuses the degree of praise she receives with her worth as a human being. The internal mantra of “notice me, love me!” could use an upgrade to “I am, I am.” “The Meditation Into Being: I Am, I Am” would be a great daily mediation for her. It can be found in The Aquarian Teacher manual. My favorite musical version of this mantra is on Sat Kartar’s “Flow.”

Brittany S. Pierce is definitely my favorite character on this show. She floats through life in a fantasy world where foreign exchange students grant you three wishes, and her pet cat smokes. As is, there is very little that grounds her, or boosts her protective (negative) mind. That’s why I would recommend her first sadhana to begin with at least 11 minutes of Long Ek Ong Kaars (“Morning Call”). This practice is part of a well-balanced Aquarian Sadhana, held every day at your favorite Kundalini Yoga Studio (most likely) at 3:45am. For free! So come on down! You can also find it described in Sadhana Guidelines.

Noah “Puck” Puckerman: What do we give to the boys who can’t keep it in their pants? Sing it with me: Sat Kriya! Puck, like most teenagers, has a lot of sexual energy that needs to be elevated rather than released. Sat Kriya is simple, effective, and a great alternative to cold showers. Did I say that? I meant I great addition to cold showers! This kriya meditation can also be found in Sadhana Guidelines, along with reasons why we should all be taking a cold shower to start the day.

Emma Pillsbury: Did I say I loved Brittany the best of all the characters? I may have spoke too soon. Emma is the daughter of “ginger supremacists” (people who only like red heads), who dresses like a cool librarian, and suffers from OCD. Emma has a colorful array of neuroses, exemplified in her fear of germs and intimacy. Because she also happens to be the school’s guidance counselor, I would recommend she join Spirit Voyages’s new 40 Day Sadhana to Release Fear and Become a Conscious Leader.

Fan of Glee? What would you recommend to the characters on the show?

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