On my way out to California last week I had a little daydream about what an airport would be like if it were run by yogis. I smiled as I pictured myself taking a yogic airline from the Yogi Airport to Summer Solstice this year…
1. Terminals, which would be called “Akaal-minals” (because nothing really ends) and would be color-coded according to the chakras.
2. There would be no baggage limits because yogis travel light, making ample room for the occassional surplus piece of luggage.
3. Because “no smoking” would be assumed, signs around the airport would remind travelers to inhale “sat” and exhale “naam.”
4. Instead of using harmful radiation to detect dangerous weapons, security officers would be highly skilled in reading people’s auras. No one would get past the Conscious Security Allies (CSA) with harmful intentions.
5. Seats on the plane would be assigned according to how much karma each passenger felt them needed to burn. First class passengers would have the least, followed by business class, and emergency row exits. The people with the most karma would sit in the seats that do not recline, or the ones nearest to bathrooms. Everyone would be given opportunities to perform seva throughout the flight.
6. Upon boarding the plane, one would be greated by the sweet aroma of incense while being handed a cup of lightly sweetened original Yogi Tea (with extra ginger for those who suffer from motion sickness).
7. Before the usual safety demonstrations, the flight attendents (who would be wearing comfortable clothing made of natural fibers they could stretch in!) would “tune in” the passengers with the “Adi Mantra” and “Aad Guray Nameh”, followed by 11 minutes of Guru Ram Das chanting to ensure maximum safety for the duration of the flight. This way, the time waiting for the plane to take off would serve a higher purpose!
8. On board entertainment would include “Enlighten Up”, “The Medical Basis of Kundalini Yoga,” and “Mantras in Motion.” Radio station options would include the “Aquarian Sadhana” channel, the lectures of Yogi Bhajan, and of course, interviews with kirtan artists by Ramdesh Kaur.
9. After the plane would touch down, the captain would get out his or her guitar and lead the passengers in “The Longtime Sunshine,” followed by a long “Sat Naam.”
10. No one would leave the flight without a homemade vegan cookie, a cup of yogi tea, and a recipe booklet containing all the delicious yogic food served throughout the flight.
Thank you for flying with us!