As the curtain came down on the month of October, I pensively looked back at a milestone chapter in my life that transformed my existence forever.  America declares October as National Domestic Violence Awareness month.  Being a survivor of domestic violence, this becomes a time of deep contemplation for me – consolidating all that it took for me to repair my past and refueling my passion to make a difference to helping others who struggle with similar situations.

Throughout my personal journey, all that I have learnt together with the tools I have discovered, I now share with the world knowing confidently that these helped me not only survive my ordeal but to forgive what I thought was unforgivable.

Kundalini Yoga to the Rescue

In 2013, my Kundalini Yoga community hosted Self Mastery class themed Forgiveness.  I jumped right not realizing the task I had ahead to forgive my abuser, all who gave advice in my time of need (which seemed to have made my situation worse) and most importantly, to forgive myself.  The beautiful and sacred technology of Kundalini Yoga brought me to the point of breaking that locked box in which I stored all of this pain. Some of the asanas caused an eruption of emotions while others soothed and comforted.  Beware, these practices are not for the faint hearted!

The Forgiveness and Unloading the Subconscious Garbage kriya found in Rebirthing – Breath, Vitality and Strength was step number one. Practicing this kriya helped me to confront and uproot everything I tried to ‘sweep under the carpet’. Boy did it all come out!  Just like any type of cleaning, it was undeniable how much space was created by having the much needed release that this kriya brought about.

guided meitations

Guided Meditations for Transformation with Ramdesh Kaur

The Guided Mediation for Forgiveness by Ramdesh Kaur is a keeper.  Whether a situation called for a small or large amount of forgiveness,  this gets right to the point, freeing and liberating the soul and giving it wings to reach to higher heights.  It is even excellent to do as a regular frequent practice to keep the heart open and full of divine light.

Incorporating the beautiful gem of this beautiful Buddhist Prayer for Forgiveness blessed my life with acceptance and peace:


If I have harmed any one in any way,
either knowingly or unknowingly
through my own confusions,
I ask their forgiveness.
If anyone has harmed me in any way,
either knowingly or unknowingly
through their own confusions,
I forgive them.
And if there is a situation
I am not yet ready to forgive,
I forgive myself for that.
For all the ways that I harm myself,
negate, doubt, belittle myself,
judge or be unkind to myself,
through my own confusions,
I forgive myself.

Having taken myself to a more neutral and positive place, it was an obvious step to seek ways in which I could not only reach out to others to help heal but also encourage members of my community to do the same.  I became passionate about bringing more awareness and compassion to brothers and sisters who have been through, or continue to endure domestic violence

Working with the team of Alternatives To Violence (ATV) Non Profit Organization in Raton, New Mexico we helped to open the eyes of the public. In doing so, many awareness programs revealed that victims of Domestic Violence truly want to break the cycle but are at their wits end as to how.  ATV helped others, as well as myself, to see that a victim who remains in an unhealthy relationship goes through emotions similar to persons in healthy relationships.  Have you ever been to a family gathering that you didn’t really want to go to but, still did out of obligation?  Have you ever stayed in a job you didn’t like because you were scared to explore another option?  Maybe you continued to live in the same neighborhood and in the same house out of a sense of comfort.  As simple as these emotions may seem, they are all the similar to the emotions experienced by a victim who feels compelled to remain in an abusive relationship.  This led to publicly sharing a simple tool that can been used by anyone to consciously help those in need, together with compassion and understanding.


L.O.V.E.S. is an easy and quick 5 step tool used to help our brothers and sisters in nee.  Reaching out lovingly in these ways can make a world of difference:

Listening – By listening consciously and compassionately without judgment we can truly serve in this traumatic situation. By giving a victim an opportunity to ‘let it out’, it helps to create the space within to be ready to receive positive assistance.

Offering Resources – Accepting that we are not experts, but we can help to guide a victim to a person or organization that can provide the help that they need.  For a victim, trying to survive is their top priority. Finding the available resources which can help is not.  Pointing them in the right direction for assistance is essential for their immediate survival.

Validating them as person –  With low self esteem and lack of confidence, these are the qualities most in need of being rebuilt FAST!  When a victim begins to feel good about themselves, they also feel that they deserve to be liberated and in a better situation than their current one.

Empowering – Simply by being loving and supportive, this puts the fuel in the tank needed for a victim to make conscious decisions to remedy their current state.

Safety first – Reinforcing the need for their own personal safety throughout their misfortunes is a must!

Some or all of these techniques lead to the same destination of becoming whole again. Being able to recognize and forgive imperfections within ourselves and those around us is truly an invaluable lesson to learn on this wondrous journey of life.

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