So often I am caught up in this thought: how am I going to absorb a teaching in an authentic way? What I repeatedly observe – especially when I study alternative healing – is that I rearrange mental information and remember to consciously breathe and just be.
Alternative medicine is miraculous territory for me. After practicing in the traditional medical field for almost a quarter of a century, something in my heart woke up to the possibility of new approaches. Growing up with “healing hands” (as my family used to call me) I was always hungry for training. For many years I’ve wanted to find as many approaches as possible to lesser known and unconventional ways of healing. During my studies, there were moments when I asked myself, “Am I was just a gatherer of uncommon details, addicted to the ‘beginner’s high’?” I was searching for a method which would fit me the most, one that would possess my being and use me as a perfect instrument for my highest good and the highest good of all.
There is a familiar reminder in the healing circles to let everything go and just breathe. During my participation in alternative energy medicine seminars I heard the following guidance many times:
Follow your breath as the air fills you, from a luminous source above your head, to your forehead, chest, down to your toes, all the way deep inside the Earth and as you exhale, feel the breath traveling up your spine, towards your crown chackra and beyond, back to the luminous source. Keep your tongue in contact with the roof of your mouth.
Several months ago, as I was integrating one of my teacher’s soft spoken words with my own experiences and knowledge, anxiety imperceptibly dawned in my entire body and was roaming in my awareness. I felt my compiled knowledge shaken to the core. It was all there, like icons trembling on the screen of a choice-less electronic device, ready to be repositioned, erased or worse, looked straight in the eye by the very present moment. “What are you going to do with us?” my precious learned identity seemed to ask. In the middle of the confusing dizziness, answers surfaced: “Practice! Put us in practice! Live through us! Check us out in your world! Through bringing us to life, we will be consumed and not occupy space in your brain like never used assets.” Then questions arose again: “Which is the best method and when do I know when to apply it? And who is applying what to whom?”
I was experiencing a tipping point. My ideas, uncertain and not familiar, were passing a threshold into a vast field of patience and acceptance of the new experiences. The only thing present on the other side of the threshold was the breath. I allowed myself to jump into the unknown, present moment without a plan. I was aware of my breath, just for the sake of it. My breath became deeper, calmer, all encompassing, present. The air was gently flowing from a shining source of light above my head, caressing my face, through the tongue that befriended my palate, down the throat, heart and belly all the way to the arms of Gaia, Mother of All, and up the spine back to the glorious light. We are the bridge that unites light and loam, a mysterious arrangement for direct experiences.
The process of learning was different, and the perfect method of healing didn’t reveal itself to me during the rest of the training. Since I was the breath, the whole learning took a liking to being itself, and it was living through me instead of conglomerating for future gratification and use. Conscious breathing is one of the most incredible gifts that we can offer to ourselves. Kundalini Yoga offers many different types of breathing techniques to increase awareness, calm the mind, and guide a person to the presence of every moment.
The fruits of the technique were present in “the practice” itself. I wasn’t applying a technique to obtain an effect, but breathing harmoniously, consciously, deeply. Acceptance took a hold of me: I am nothing and that is how I get to experience everything.