Basically the meditation and regular Practice and exercise I had been hungry for was the very thing my numerology confirmed I needed. I felt so relieved. I no longer felt lost on my path. No longer did I feel like a failure for not participating in Jap Ji. My sister recommended to me the Kriya for Awakening to Your 10 Bodies, and of course regular meditation. This is something I am able to do, that I can commit to. It doesn’t take hours of my life, even as a mom I can always manage it. In fact my son often joins me in my practice. He evens asks, ‘when we will do it today?’
Right now, as I invite in my experience of vulnerability I appreciate the fine line between fear and excitement. I have chosen excitement. I still have the jitters but I am present. It feels a little outside my comfort zone as by writing I am pushing my boundaries, I am stepping into the unknown. I am knowingly revealing my flaws and inviting in opinions and energy from others. For me to stay in excitement and out of fear I must do one thing. Breathe – mindfully.
We are always in the right place – both in the darkest moments and in the light. It’s from knowing the the low moments that we are able to truly appreciate the richness and the sweetness of the highs.
Imagine overhearing the jealous and mean thoughts and consider how it could cause you to feel, if you were the person being judged. Consider what you would wish the judging / jealous person to know about you. This is a great exercise in itself. It reveals the many ways you can show more empathy and shine light on the many perspectives you haven’t previously considered. Remember, this isn’t about self judgment but rather a recognition for growth.
Jealousy – the attack of the big, green-eyed monster! Last year I found myself plagued by jealousy which seemed come out of nowhere. It took me off guard. All of a sudden, I was having jealous and mean thoughts about someone who I really cared for. Thoughts that I knew were unhealthy and I always regretted. Thoughts which I confirmed, “Yes! This is not who I choose to be”.