Jealousy – the attack of the big, green-eyed monster! Last year I found myself plagued by jealousy which seemed come out of nowhere. It took me off guard. All of a sudden, I was having jealous and mean thoughts about someone who I really cared for. Thoughts that I knew were unhealthy and I always regretted. Thoughts which I confirmed, “Yes! This is not who I choose to be”.
The thing with negativity, such as jealousy, is to firstly recognize that it’s not you. Jealousy is just a thought – and like many other thoughts, it will rise up and vanish. Jealousy will run its course naturally, just like your heart pumps blood in your body and your lungs fill up and empty out with air to keep you breathing. Thoughts are empty – until you attach to them.
3 Ways to Break Free from Jealousy
1: Confirm that a thought is merely another passing thought – if you choose it to be.
A good questions to ask yourself is, “Is this thought, true? Is it absolutely true to me?” Usually, your mind provides you with evidence that a large part of you actually does not believe at all. Take a moment for answers to rise from within. Be patient – your answers are worth the
2: Bring your attention to the part of you that wants to hold on to the thought.
Recognize that the thought is not you. It’s rumination, old thoughts, old conditioning and old beliefs. Not the YOU here … NOW. Often jealousy and negative thoughts stem from fear. Fear of not being sufficient and fear of losing something or even gaining something you don’t want. Fear isn’t in the here, now. It is in the past and future.
3: Take ownership of the fear.
It is worth your time to consider your fears and beliefs and to look at them again to see if they need updating. By taking ownership of your fears, you are already moving them out from unconsciousness where you can not control them, to a consciousness where you can do something about them.
Practice: With your hand on your heart allow yourself to focus on the feeling/thought that is scary. Track the sensation back through your history to find the source. As you work your way back into the present day, consider all the evidence that opposes the fear or belief. With this evidence, allow your mind to recognize the ‘untruth’ and then open up to something that is more aligned with your being in the present moment.
In my next post I look forward to sharing with you how to transform jealousy into love. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this tool and practice some self exploration – I always find it fascinating to suspend judgement and look within myself for the answers!